Time to shout

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel , love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me...or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Just blah, blah, blah


Amazing how my cooking style and meal choice so closely reflects what is happening in my life. I haven't cooked as much lately, and when I have, it has been the tried and true, things I can whip up in less then an hour and can almost make with my eyes closed. Maybe it is because we moved and I don't know the kitchen yet. I can't reach for, and find, the exact tool or spice I am looking for. I have to stop and think before I open a drawer, usually the wrong one, to get what I want. Making complicated meals just seems, well, too complicated. Maybe it is because I have been feeling uninspired, depressed, a little lonely, like life has decided to gang up on me just a little. I don't feel at home, I miss my home, I want to go home, but it is no longer there, it has changed, it isn't mine anymore. It's painted a different color, the yard has changed and even some of the other neighbors have moved. I don't belong there anymore, but I don't belong here either. I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for something...but I don't know what. Maybe the budget is stretched too tight and I can't go all out and buy all of the fun ingredients it takes for a lot of my recipes. Who knows what the problem is, I don't, I just know I feel off center, out of sync, off kilter, out of whack. Things are not quite where or how they are supposed to be. It seems no matter what I do, it's not quite right. I have tried a few simple new recipes, but they fell flat, they were bland and..uninspired. So what's for dinner tonight? What else, leftovers. Not even great ones. Kind of blah, uninspired, boring, not quite right.....
Sunday August 8, 2010