Time to shout

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel , love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me...or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Recipes that go wrong

Sometimes recipes don't work. Sometimes they just go wrong. You can do everything right, or at least try, but they still turn out bad, wrong, tasteless....yucky. Sometimes you just want to cry. You worked so hard to make the recipe right, you measured and added all the ingredients. You chopped, sliced and diced. You sauteed, steamed and baked. You stirred, whisked and beat. Still.....it didn't work. You poured your heart and soul into it, you slaved over it, sweated over it....still....it didn't work. You have no idea why. Sometimes a recipe just doesn't work. I've had a few such recipes, there was a casserole I got off the Internet with a four star rating and comments like "I didn't think these things would go together, but it was great!" and "wasn't too sure about this, but loved it!" I made it and.....these things DIDN'T go together! It was a big dish full of yuck. We certainly didn't "love it"! Then, there was this Risotto recipe with wonderful things like curry and coconut milk that smelled heavenly, but when finished and tasted was pretty bland and tasteless, not sure why, I measured it and stirred it exactly like the recipe said, but it was still a disappointment. Sometimes the recipe just doesn't work. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much love you put into it, no matter how much work, it still goes wrong. I admit, sometimes a recipe doesn't work because the cook screwed up. The recipe wasn't followed, measurements were off, baking time was wrong. You don't get to bitch if you didn't follow the recipe. I know I always try to follow a recipe to the letter to begin with and after the first time I will add my own touch, maybe a little more garlic, maybe a little less hot pepper etc. But at first I try the recipe as written and THEN doctor it up. Sometimes you try to do everything right, and it doesn't work, it just isn't to someones taste, it's bland, or too spicy, or just doesn't taste good. So...you doctor it up, you change it and try to make it better, you add, you leave out, you stir it more, you stir it less, you bake it, steam it, boil it, freeze it, and it's still just not what someone wants and there is nothing you can do to make it taste good, or taste right to that person. Sometimes you have to give up on a recipe, you have throw it away because no amount of doctoring will fix it or make it taste better. Or maybe...you should just put it back in the recipe box to try again another day on another someone who just might appreciate it more, find it more to their taste. Find it just right, just spicy enough, with just enough garlic and just enough salt to be to their liking. Someone who appreciates the effort as well as the outcome. Sometimes recipes can go wrong and sometimes...it's just the person tasting them.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Meatloaf

So I spent three and a half hours in the kitchen making meatloaf? This wasn't just any meatloaf, it was Gourmet!! It was made up of three separate and distinct parts, first I had to make the homemade bbq sauce that would be the topping, and then I had to put together the flavorings and binder that would hold the two kinds of meat together and while that was baking I had to make the gravy that would be poured over the top of the finished loaf. At the same time I had to get the garlic mashed potatoes ready and the fresh green beans. Again, my cooking sounds like my life. When is there ever a time you don't have at least three things going at once, at least three distinct parts of life, home, work, family....etc...the main dish, the side dish, salad, dessert (sometimes) When I was finished, my kitchen was in chaos, but oh was it good! My meatloaf, unlike life, had a definite finish, an end so to speak. The meal was served, eaten, enjoyed, over. An hour later even the mess was cleaned up. Life is made up of many ingredients, but it is the collecting of ingredients, the mixing, baking, steaming, boiling of the ingredients that make our lives, not the finished product, we are never "finished" but continue to add ingredients until the final end when there is no more, or maybe, the end is when we are done collecting ingredients and mixing them together. We need to enjoy the mixing and collecting instead of always waiting for the finished product, it will never come...and we will miss the fun and joy of all that is around us if we are always looking to be "done". Waiting for the chaos to clear, waiting for the mess to be cleaned up, waiting for all the ingredients to be added. But back to the meatloaf, the cool thing about this meatloaf is, that while each part has different ingredients, there are certain elements that are shared, things that pull it all together into a whole. Each one complimenting the other, leaving out one part would have left it lacking something. Again, I see how my life is like that, all the different parts, so very different, but with a common thread, complimenting and adding to the other parts, take away one part and life wouldn't be nearly so tasty! As complicated as it seemed to ready the ingredients and put them together it was well worth the effort, I was told it was the best meatloaf they had ever eaten, my daughter said "YUMMY". It is also well worth the effort to gather the right ingredients to make your life "YUMMY" the "best ever". To that end, I have signed up and start my first year of college at the age of 45, adding one more main ingredient to my life to make it richer and better and so much more tasty! So, cheers...have fun collecting your ingredients, mixing them up, and cooking them, but don't forget any, because you don't want a bland meatloaf...or life.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Greek Phyllo Wraps











Makes about 8 or 9 wraps
Total time, about 1 hour

3 T. olive oil
1 Cup onion, diced
2 t. garlic, minced
1 1/4 lb. ground turkey
1/2 Cup red bell pepper, diced
2 T. fresh lemon juice
1 T. dried oregano
1/2 t. kosher salt
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
1/2 t. ground nutmeg
1/2 t. black pepper
1/2 Cup scallions, chopped
4 qz feta cheese, crumbled
16 sheets (9x14) phyllo pastry
3/4 Cup olive oil
fresh Dill sprigs

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, saute onion about 3 minutes, add garlic, saute 1 minute. Stir in turkey and cook 5 minutes, or until browned. Add bell pepper, lemon juice, and seasonings, cook 1 minute. Remove from heat, spoon off any excess fat. and cool 5 minutes. Stir in scallions and feta.

Preheat oven to 425 f.

Brush 1 phyllo sheet with oil, place sprig of dill about one inch from top, centered. top with a second sheet, brush with oil. Spoon 1/2 cup of turkey mixture on the short end, leaving a 1" margin. Fold sides in over mixture, (about an inch) then roll. The dill sprig should end up on top, with the seem side underneath. Place seam side down on baking sheet lined with foil, brush with oil. repeat with remaining turkey, phyllo, and oil.

Bake for 15 minutes, or until browned. Let stand 5 minutes to cool. Serve with big mixed green salad.

Pictures to follow!

Control and Dinner

A close friend asked me why I like to cook, why I was so into planning menus, cutting out recipes, making grocery lists etc....it took me a moment..and I answered "because when my life is in chaos and a total mess, I can control what's for dinner, because when you plan a menu, buy the ingredients, and follow the recipe, more often then not, you end up with a good meal. Exact measurements, following directions....for a moment I feel in control" My SO/BF/BFF set up this blog for me, came up with the name, as his nickname for me is Snoopy, but I thought what do I have to write about? He is the writer. But as I was creating a new recipe the other night I thought maybe I do have something to say, as I wrapped up the Greek Phyllo Wraps and made a big green salad I felt the calm come over me as I create a wonderful meal, I was able to think of the chaos around me, the uprooting to come, the lack of control I have over what is happening in the next couple of months and figured I could use this as a type of therapy. My cooking and my life. The uprooting comes from the fact I have been living in a house owned by a family member, have live here since 2001, nine years, my daughter was only two when we moved in. Anyway, they have decided to sell it, May 1st we have to be out of our home. I have been home taking care of friends kids for the last three years, my BF works graveyard with the homeless, an important but part time job. We have been getting by but really don't have the resources to find a place, move and then pay the high rent that would keep my daughter in her school. I still haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that we are losing our home, sure it happens to people, you feel bad, never thought it would happen to me, I thought we were set. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I need to get a "real" job....in this economy not so easy. So.....to keep myself from slipping into complete depression, I drink red wine with my BF and cook! I will share the chaos of my life along with the food that helps feed our souls...in this blog that my BF set up for me....he's the writer, but I think I've done pretty good for a first time!!